I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
