He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
