Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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