how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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