Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon