She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
