my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
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I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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