I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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