i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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