my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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