yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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