Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
