You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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