Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
