Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
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Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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