Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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