I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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