No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
