And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
