Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize