I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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