epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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