yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
