You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
