I want to walk on stilts...naked
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
