I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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