Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Green mimosas i think yes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
