i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize