Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
