Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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