Buhtt sex?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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