I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize