I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
