found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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