Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
