Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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