Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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