Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he was CRYING into my vagina
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
