I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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