There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
