Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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