Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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