Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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