I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize