Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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