Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
