Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
