I hate all girls vehemently.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
