4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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