Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
