i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize