"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
only you would photoshop your dick
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
