just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
