i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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