i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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