I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
