you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im holly from the hills drunk
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
