her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
