Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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