I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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