ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
