i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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