smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
