hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
