New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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